


Five Times Claire Almost Said It (and the one time that she did)

by MewlingQuim12



Category: Supernatural, Wayward Sisters (TV)
Genre: 13.10 Coda, 5+1 Things, Dreamhunter, F/F, Wayward Sisters, ish, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 12:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MewlingQuim12/pseuds/MewlingQuim12
Summary: Claire knows that there's something between her and Kaia that's going unsaid, but she can't bring herself to say it.





	Five Times Claire Almost Said It (and the one time that she did)

~1~  
“I’ve got others. All over.”  
Claire looked over at Kaia. Kaia turned away, pulling up her sleeve and covering up her scars. Trying to cover up her damage. Trying to act as if she wasn’t broken. Trying to act normal.  
Claire felt as if she knew the broken girl sitting next to her a little too well.  
Because she practically _was_ her.  
“Me too,” Claire said. _She has scars? Me too. She doesn’t fully trust anyone besides herself? Me too. She tries to run away from the past, but can never seem to make it far without being dragged back? Me too._  
“Look,” Claire said, unzipping her right pant leg. “Ghoul bite.” And then her left shoulder. “Bar fight with a vampire. He threw me through a window.”  
A smile crept onto Kaia’s face, and that one small gesture made Claire’s heart soar. She, too, smiled, glad that she was able to make someone feel at least a bit happier, for a change. Instead of just causing everyone around her pain.  
“And this one?” Kaia said, leaning over and brushing Claire’s forehead with a gentle touch.  
Claire tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach at Kaia’s touch.  
“Heroic battle. With a doorknob. I tripped,” she said. Kaia laughed, making Claire smile even more. She had a beautiful laugh. One that she should be able to hear more often.  
They should both be able to laugh as often as they pleased. They deserved to be normal teenage girls, laughing with their friends over stupid little inconveniences. They deserved better. Both of them.  
With those thoughts, Claire felt her face slip back into solemnity.  
“Kaia,” she said gently. _Kaia, there’s something about you that I just can’t put my finger on. Kaia, I’m not sure what’s happening here. Kaia, I don’t know what you’re doing to me. Kaia…_  
“What happened?” Claire said, instead. She hated herself for being the one to wipe the smile from Kaia’s face, but it was necessary. No talking about emotions, or feelings, or whatever.  
No feelings for Claire Novak.

 

~2~  
Claire and Kaia were sitting on the couch, now. Kaia seemed to be content wherever Claire was at the moment, and Claire had absolutely no objection to that. Just to be able to make someone comfortable for once made Claire feel warm and giddy inside. Especially when that person was _Kaia_.  
She was beautiful. Her light brown hair was always falling down perfectly around her face. Her perfect face. Claire found herself tracing Kaia’s face over and over again in her mind.  
Suddenly, Kaia’s eyes (those _beautiful_ brown eyes) were on her.  
“What?” Kaia asked, with a shy grin.  
“Nothing,” Claire said quickly. She felt the beginning of a blush creep up her face. God, what was happening to her? She kills werewolves and vampires for a living, and now she’s _blushing?_ All because of a cute girl?  
“I can see why you like it here,” Kaia said, looking around. “It seems nice. Comfortable. Like a home.”  
Claire smiled, glad for the change of topic.  
“Um, yeah. Jody has that effect. She’s such a mom,” Claire said, rolling her eyes. But Kaia could see right through that. She smiled.  
“You know, um, if you wanted, of course, I’m sure that this could be your home, too,” Claire said. From what she’d learned about Kaia’s background, it didn’t sound like she'd had much of a home. She was always just running from one place to another. Always on the run. _Sounds familiar._  
Kaia looked at her with bright eyes. “You think?”  
“Yeah, I do. Jody loves caring for people. Especially troubled teenage girls, I guess. You’d fit right in here,” Claire said, smiling. She liked to think about living with Kaia. Waking up every day and knowing that Kaia would be just a few feet away. She would have a family. She'd maybe even have happiness. After all this shit with Sam and Dean was over with, of course.  
Claire opened her mouth to say something more. She wasn’t sure what, exactly, but it would have been something along the lines of: _I’m really glad that you’re here. I love spending time with you. I love--_  
All of a sudden, Patience threw open the front door.  
“We have to go. Now,” she said, out of breath.  
And within the hour, those fucking monsters had shattered what was _supposed_ to be Kaia’s home.

 

~3~  
Donna was with them. Even the darkest times seemed a little more bearable with Donna around.  
But even Donna couldn’t keep their situation lighthearted for very long. Soon after Donna had arrived, Jody was already pulling Claire aside, looking as if she had bad news to deliver.  
“Claire, I know you’re not gonna like this, but I need you to stay here to keep Kaia and the girls safe,” Jody said. Claire’s first instinct was to fight her. _No, I won’t stay here. No, you’re not leaving me out again. No, no, no._  
But she found her eyes drifting over to where Kaia was standing. Kaia met her gaze, and their eye-contact was enough to shift something in Claire’s brain. _Keep Kaia and the girls safe. Keep Kaia safe._  
“Okay, Jody,” Claire said. With a pang of guilt, she saw a brief look of confusion flash over Jody’s face. Jody never expected her to do anything that she asked her to. Wow, she was a great daughter. Or a great… whatever she was supposed to be.  
Claire watched Jody and Donna pull away with mixed emotions. On one hand, she was angry at Jody for leaving her, but she wasn’t actually that angry. She wouldn’t have wanted to leave Kaia or Alex or even Patience behind. But she was also worried about Jody. And Donna. Who knew what they would find in that shipyard? Who knew what they would encounter without her there to help them fight?  
“Room over there?” Kaia said, pulling Claire back down to Earth. Claire slid over, making room for Kaia in the trunk.  
Claire looked down at the ground, feeling as if she were unable to meet Kaia’s eyes. She could feel Kaia’s gaze on her, though she wasn’t sure what to say.  
“You’re scared,” Kaia said lightly. Claire looked up, still trying to adjust to how well her and Kaia were able to read each other.  
“Yeah,” Claire scoffed. “Jody always said I’d get myself killed hunting, and I’d be like ‘good’, you know. If I’m gonna go out, that’s how I want to do it. Doing something great. But Patience’s vision…” Claire trailed off, slightly unnerved at how much she was telling Kaia. And how easy it was. It’s not like she told many people how she was actually feeling. But when she looked at Kaia, all she saw was trust, and an eagerness to help, and… something else.  
“It’s one thing thinking that you’re gonna die,” she continued. “But actually knowing it? For once, part of me just kinda… wants to sit back. Let Jody handle it. Stay safe.”  
_Now I have something to live for_ , a part of her thought. Claire was taken aback by this. Was the love of Jody and Alex and Donna not enough for her? She should already have had plenty of reasons to want to keep living. But, nevertheless, she knew that there was a certain truth to her original thought.  
“But Sam and Dean saved my life,” Claire said, after a few seconds. “I can’t sit this one out.”  
“Then don’t,” Kaia responded. Claire turned to look at her, somewhat startled.  
“If you go, I’ll go with you,” Kaia continued. “Maybe, together, we can save them.”  
Claire looked at Kaia for a while, certainly longer than she should have. This girl, this _beautiful_ girl, was offering to go with Claire. Even though she’d been running from this place her whole life. Kaia was willing to face her greatest fear, as long as Claire was with her.  
Claire couldn’t even put her emotions into words.  
Or maybe she could. But she was just scared as hell at doing so.  
“Kaia,” she started, but got distracted by the other girl’s lips. Her _lips_. Should she kiss her? Claire had kissed some guys before, and a few girls, but she felt as though one gesture had never had as much significance as it did now.  
Did Kaia even want to kiss her? Probably not. She probably just thought that Claire was a good friend, but nothing more. And, anyways, Claire’s lip was still fucked up from that werewolf.  
She realized that Kaia was still waiting for her to say something. Claire knew what she _could_ say, but _should_ she say it? When it actually came down to it, could she really tell someone that? Especially someone she’d only known for less than a day.  
All the people she’d loved had left her at one point in her life or another. Who’s to say that Kaia wouldn’t do the same?  
“Jody and Donna have been gone for awhile. I’m gonna call Jody,” Claire said abruptly. A brief look of something that Claire couldn’t quite make out passed over Kaia’s face. Disappointment? Relief? She couldn’t be sure.  
All she could be sure of was that she should probably tell Kaia how she felt.  
But thinking about it was one thing. Actually _doing_ it?  
Claire Novak had faced many monsters in her life. But this scared her more than most of them.

 

~4~  
The door wasn’t as… door-like as Claire had pictured. It was more of a glowing rip that hovered in the air, drifting back and forth as if pushed by a nonexistent wind.  
Nevertheless, it was a door. And that would get her to Sam and Dean.  
Claire began charging towards it when Jody reached out to stop her.  
“No, Claire, wait!” Jody yelled.  
“Jody, I know you’re trying to protect me, but I need to save Sam and Dean, and you have to let me,” Claire said, looking Jody straight in the eye.  
“I know,” Jody responded, looking defeated.  
Suddenly, gunshots began echoing from downstairs. Donna was calling for Jody’s help. Claire looked back at Jody for reassurance.  
“Go,” Jody said softly, nodding towards the door. Claire turned her gaze towards Kaia, who was standing off to the side with clear discomfort on her face.  
“I’ll protect you,” Claire said, extending her hand. Kaia took it. Claire smiled.  
_You can be goddamn sure that I’ll protect you. Because I need you. And I’m not letting you go._  
With one more reassuring smile Kaia’s way, Claire turned towards the portal, bracing herself, placed her hand on it.  
_I’m not letting you go._

 

~5~  
They freed Sam and Dean. They got back to the door. Everything went smoothly, just as planned.  
Claire was turning back to tell Kaia what a good job she did when there was a rustling behind them. All of a sudden, Kaia shoved Claire to the ground. Seconds later, Kaia hit the ground with a heavy thud next to her, with a blade impaling her straight through her stomach.  
Claire forgot how to breath. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. They’d saved Sam and Dean, and they were getting out of here. This wasn’t happening.  
Claire watched, as if through another person’s eyes, as Kaia reached out for her hand. Claire gripped her hand with all that she had. _Maybe if she held her hand tightly enough, it would be enough to stop this from happening. Maybe Kaia’s breaths would stop getting so shallow. Maybe--_  
But she knew that it was useless.  
“Kaia,” Claire whispered. _Say it, Claire. Tell her. Tell her that you love her. TELL HER._  
Kaia’s hand went limp and slid out of Claire’s grip. Claire watched as the light went out of her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes.  
They didn’t leave Claire’s once.  
As soon as Claire remembered how to control over her body, she started walking towards the thing that’d killed her-- _the thing that_ _killed Kaia_ \--with long, purposeful steps.  
_I swore that I would protect her, you son of a bitch. I swore that I would protect her. And I_ loved _her. And you took that from me. YOU TOOK THAT--_  
“No, no, no, no, Claire!” Dean said, grabbing her by the arm.  
“NO!” Claire yelled, fighting to get free. She was going to stab that thing. She didn’t care if she died anymore. She was going to kill it.  
But Dean wouldn’t let her. There was a flash, and all of a sudden, the three of them were back at the shipyard. Claire collapsed to the floor.  
As the door closed behind them, Claire screamed again. “NO!”  
Not only had she failed to protect Kaia, but she had gotten her killed. And she had left her body in the Bad Place. She left Kaia there. She left Kaia there.  
It was too late.  
Kaia was gone.  
She was gone.  
And Claire had gotten her killed.

 

+1  
Claire attempted to stem the flow of tears cascading from her eyes, but it was no use.  
“I get it now. Why you are the way that you are. With me,” Claire said, turning to look at Jody. “Because of the… this feeling…” _This feeling when you lose someone that you loved. It’s hell. It’s worse than dying._  
_It would be better if you were dead, too. Then you could at least be with her._  
“You don’t have to do this alone,” Jody said gently. “When you’re ready, if you want, we’re all here for you.”  
The tears continued to slide down Claire’s face. She’d given up any hope of fighting them, at this point.  
_Say it, Claire. Say it now. She died before you could tell her. Now you have to say it._  
“Jody…” Claire started, but she completely broke down. Jody quickly moved to sit next to her on the bed. Claire leaned into her, letting herself go completely.  
With shaking shoulders, and a tear-drenched face, and a muffled voice, Claire Novak finally said it.  
“I loved her.”


End file.
